When Surrogates are Used for Mega Profit~Protecting Yourself from a "Next Time" Crime

In light of what has happened with the Theresa Erickson case and the alleged "baby selling ring" I feel compelled to write something. Yes it was all very shocking and others have written long and eloquent blog posts. You can read two of them here; first from The Stirrup Queen and then take a look at the Fertility Advocate. You can see from the comments that this is a super hot topic.

But what I want to focus on here, in my post, are the surrogates. I was a surrogate twice. How would I feel if I had inadvertently fallen for a scheme like this? Sick, worried, tainted, used....the list goes on. Then I might start questioning all of my instincts and wonder how my gift of helping intended parents ended up in a scam that allowed other people to make huge amounts of money...by selling the baby 'I' carried! A real felony where lawyers (and others) lose their licenses to practice and face time in prison.

How can we trust those out there matching women who want to be surrogates with Intended Parents now? Just between you and me...here are my thoughts from the heart.

First of all this crime is not the norm! It's like an airplane crash that hits the news and shocks the nation....this story is everywhere we turn but the reality is that this kind of plot is so rare that of course it will seem larger then life. The majority of professionals within the Third Party Family Building arena are honest, trustworthy, dedicated and ethical. I have been in this field for over a decade and have worked with a lot of attorneys, agency's, clinics and mental health professionals and never have I heard of a scheme like this happening in the USA.

Second, when you are looking to become a surrogate know the facts about the process. Don't rush in blindly! If you know what the average fee is then your radar will certainly go up once you hear of something that sounds too good to be true!
                                                     
- $38,000 to $45,000 base fee is too high for a first time surrogate. It would be unusual for a 2nd time surrogate as well.

-Not meeting your IP's before your transfer is very unusual. Or, in the case of international/out of state couples there are often phone calls and e-mails. A bond is formed that way and soon after the transfer you should expect to meet them in person. If you are uncomfortable then insist on a meeting before the transfer!

-Traveling to another country to become pregnant is not usually expected. If the embryos are not FDA approved (due to testing before freezing) then IP's will have to start over here with egg retrieval's and required testing.

-Asking a surrogate to stay out of the country until the second trimester is certainly a crazy notion especially when surrogates have their own families to take care of here at home.

-Not having a psychological evaluation is unheard of and should be insisted upon.

These are just a few of the red flags that the surrogates in this case should have been aware of. And I believe, in some cases, were ignored.

My final point is that we need to educate ourselves on the tried and true surrogacy guidelines and not sweep crimes like this 'Surrogacy Scandal'  under the rug but rather learn from it. We can ask educated questions of those we chose to work with, and continue to trust in our own judgment. Surrogacy is a beautiful gift. Lets not allow it to be tainted by a few bad apples.




Sharon LaMothe
Infertility Answers, Inc.
http://infertilityanswers.org/
LaMothe Services, LLC
http://lamotheservices.com/
LaMothe Surrogacy Consulting
http://lamothesurrogacyconsulting.com/

When can we CELEBRATE?!?!

I know that my blogs have been jumping all over the place but honestly, when a topic hits, it hits hard! I might talk to an IP or an old friend or I may read someone's blog and say to myself 'I need to write about that!" An so here I am writing about Celebrating....celebrating an egg retrieval gone GOOD...celebrating more then one embryo growing by leaps and bounds in that little petri dish...a successful transfer....a positive HPT....just celebrating.

But Wait!

Surrogates, do you ever think how hard it actually is for Intended Parents to really celebrate? Most of the time these IP's have been through years of grief and struggle and during that time might have experienced periods where they did indeed celebrate the small milestones leading up to a full blown pregnancy only to be disappointed with a BFN from the Beta (or HPT or the embryos died). How hard is that to take over and over and over again? And then they choose surrogacy and there is hope...but not celebration. At least not the type 'we' feel there should be. All that grief and struggle and sadness and failure turns into FEAR when they hear that there is a real pregnancy. The IP's live in the fear that somehow all of this new joy could be taken away in the blink of an eye. Because they have seen it happen before...to them and to others like them!

Maybe we expect the celebration to start at some point during the pregnancy like at the 20 week mark or a month before the due date or even at the birth. I have heard surrogates wonder out loud where is the enthusiasm? Please give your IP's time. The joy will come, the celebration will last for the rest of their lives just as soon as they except the reality that THIS TIME 'it' worked! They really are parents!! And for now, let YOUR Joy shine through!

Sharon
www.InfertilityAnswers.net

How important is BMI?? (Body Mass Index)

I am sorry to post this right before summer officially starts...but our BMI (Body Mass Index) is something that we all have to watch. Most women, who are qualified in every other way, are turned down to become surrogate carriers/mothers because of their BMI being over 30. (and in some cases under 18). Please click on the link below to calculate your BMI. You might be surprised at the number that pops up!

BMI Categories:
Normal weight = 18.5-24.9
Overweight = 25-29.9
Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater

http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/bminojs.htm BMI Calculator

Sharon LaMothe

Infertility Answers, Inc.

http://infertilityanswers.org/

Research It: You Want to be a Surrogate or Egg Donor

Maybe you saw a TV program, read a magazine article, or saw a newspaper story regarding surrogacy or egg donation. Maybe you know a couple that shared with you the fact that they can't have children, commenting on how lucky YOU are. Perhaps you know someone else who was a surrogate or egg donor. No matter what prompted you to consider becoming a surrogate or egg donor the fact is there is a lot of research that needs to be done before you can be certain that ART is for you.

Knowing what is expected of you and your partner is of vital importance. You can research ART on the computer, at the library, call an agency, contact an ART attorney's office, or a clinic. I suggest the computer first. There is so much that you need to know and gathering information online will help you to ask the "right" questions when you actually talk to a professional. Getting pregnant via IVF is NOT THAT EASY! The first thing that some women think is ' my pregnancies were so easy', or 'all my husband has to do is look at me and I get pregnant' or ' how hard can it be? Transferring pre-made embryos is practically a guarantee with me!' Oh contraire, my dear!

SO much more is involved becomming pregnant using IVF. Infertility Answers, LLC - What are a Surrogates Medical Responbilities? There is so much to know before you subject yourself to an egg donation. Infertility Answers, LLC - Before you give Consent to Donate Eggs Bringing a life into this world for another family carries so many responsibilities and sacrifices. Researching all aspects of ART before committing will help you face the challenges that will be waiting for you if you decide to move forward.

Sharon
www.InfertilityAnswers.net

Breast Milk....Can I Nurse My Baby After Surrogacy or Adoption?

All Intended Parents dream of the best for their baby to be which is why they care so much about what their surrogate does during the pregnancy. What she eats, where she works, where she travels, what she's exposed to and how she is handling the pregnancy. It's natural to want to continue the trend and want the best nutrition for their baby. Can the Intended Mother can provide her own breast milk? Lets talk about inducing lactation:

Lactation involves two hormones. Prolactin is considered the milk-making hormone while oxytocin is the hormone responsible for releasing breast milk. Both of these hormones are controlled by the pituitary gland and are therefore not ovarian hormones. This means that even a woman who has undergone a hysterectomy can induce lactation.

Inducing lactation can take anywhere from 5 days to 4 months, so expecting mothers often begin to induce lactation during the third trimester of a surrogate pregnancy. Inducing lactation should only be attempted with the guidance of a pediatrician, lactation consultant and/or doctor.

Breastfeeding a baby delivered by a surrogate birth should thus be viewed as a bonding experience. Mothers should not worry about the amount of milk produced, but rather focus on the benefits of the closeness which breastfeeding brings.

The above information was gathered from Surrogacy and Breastfeeding: Inducing Lactation. You can also visit Infertility Answers, LLC - All About Breast Milk for information on shipping and storing breast milk. Below are a few other sites you might consider visiting as well!

Induced Laction
Ask Lenore ~ Breastfeeding ~ Induced Lactation ~ Introduction to the Protocols for Induced Lactation
Is It Possible To Induce Lactation

Sharon
www.InfertilityAnswers.net

Advice for Husbands in Supporting Your Wife’s Decision to be a Surrogate Mother

“You Want to be a What?”

So, dear husband, your wife just said that she was thinking about helping another couple with achieving their family dreams, and you casually turned slightly toward her, while your eyes were still fixed on the college game, and you said “that’s nice honey”. Then she used the s-word, surrogate, and you choked on your adult beverage. Unprepared, you spat out “you want to be a what!?” She quickly threw comforting phrases at you like “it’s only 9 months” and “my body will recover” and “our kids will understand”, intending to make you feel better, and you realized this would test your relationship. What will you say next?

Let me assure you that I know how you feel in your situation, having faced it twice myself. In case you’re curious, the second time was even harder! Luckily, I have genetics that actually allow my gray matter to churn some thought before my mouth opens and so, I let her talk it out before I responded. It was actually pretty easy once I took a deep breath, or maybe several, and just started with an internal dialogue of “ok, big strong husband, what does she need from you right now?”

The obvious answer was patience and support. Has she supported your move away from all her family and friends for a new career? Did she manage the home for 16 hours a day while you went back to school to get that degree? Here’s your chance to be a good man and support her on something that is really important to her, and very important to another family. And have backbone in front of her parents, and when telling your parents, and with any well-intentioned friends that point out all the things that could go wrong. Why am I giving you this advice? You may ask. Because, if you choose to support her, your relationship with grow stronger, your marriage will last, and a new family may be created from her gift.

Joe LaMothe
(Surrogate Husband and Supporter)

The Surrogacy Contract: Issues to Consider

NO SMOKING!!!

Below are just a few of the issues and concerns that are incorporated into a surrogacy agreement between the Intended Parents and a Surrogate and her partner. Each case is unique however these are the most common items that are discussed and agreed upon.



All Parties have the right to independent legal representation.

All Parties need to agree to psychological and sexually transmitted disease testing.

Agree to the number of embryos to be transferred and the number of attempts at IVF.

Agree to help in whatever manner necessary to get the Intended Parent's names on the birth certificate.

Agree to HLA Paternity Testing if, when necessary.

Agree to drug testing and criminal background checks if requested by the IP's, IVF Clinic or Agency.

Surrogate must agree to notify Intended Parents at the first signs of labor. All contact numbers should be listed in the contract.

All parties must waive the right to medical confidentiality and execute the appropriate medical releases.

The Surrogate must agree to adhere to all medical instructions given to her by the attending physicians.

Amniocentesis should be agreed to as well as under what circumstances it may be requested.

Fetus loss must be addressed. Selective reduction, miscarriage and abortion must be referenced with an agreed upon medical management plan.

The custody of a child that isn't genetically linked to the parties needs to be addressed.

IP's must agree to accept responsibility for a child born with birth defects.

Compensation for living expenses (base fee) must be addressed. The total fee should be deposited into a trust account before the transfer is performed.

Term life insurance policy of at least $200,000 must be provided to the Surrogate by the IP's.

There must be an estate plan or guardianship in place to provide for the infant should an IP die after pregnancy is confirmed.

There must be an estate plan or medical guardianship in place to maintain the Surrogate on life support should she suffer trauma and determined to be brain dead after pregnancy is confirmed. The OB will provide guidelines on when to order life support for purposes of maintaining a pregnancy.

The Parties should agree on what is expected during the labor and delivery. Generally, IP's are permitted to attend delivery.
The amount of post discharge contact, including photographs, needs to be agreed upon.

These topics and more can be found on Infertility Answers!

Thinking About Being a Surrogate? Common Surrogacy Questions

Below is a list of common questions that women ask when they are considering surrogacy. If you have any additional questions that you would like answered or would like to see on this list please contact us.

1. What is the average age of a potential surrogate?

Reproductive endocrinologists prefer to work with surrogates who are between 21 and 39 years of age. Exceptions have been made in the past but this is an average.

2. Does a woman have to have had a child of her own before she may act as a surrogate?

Yes. Most clinics will require the surrogate have at least one uncomplicated pregnancy and birth. C-sections are usually acceptable.

3. What about the health of a potential surrogate?

A potential surrogate must be healthy, for her benefit as much as for the child she will carry. Additionally, she will be screened for STD's (sexually transmitted diseases), and addictions such as drug, alcohol and tobacco. Certain medications, thyroid replacements may be acceptable to the clinic. Another factor most clinics take into consideration is BMI (height/weight ratio) and prefer that to be under 30. Calculate your BMI - Standard BMI Calculator

4. What if I had my own children but placed them for adoption?

Most psychologists and surrogacy agencies require you to be parenting your child/children. A previous adoption with a baby since then may be acceptable. The psychologist will speak with you about these issues to be sure you will be comfortable giving up the baby.

5. I have had some legal issues in my past....would I still be eligible to enter into a surrogacy contract?

Most Intended Parents do not want a person carrying their baby to have a criminal history. Most agencies will run a background check....minor offenses can often be overlooked. It is best to be honest with your agency and or attorney and tell them if there is anything in your past that might complicate the surrogacy process.

6. What do I need to know about Health Insurance?

Having health insurance will reduce the Intended Parent's out of pocket payment for your medical care. The best possible surrogate candidate will have her own health insurance with maternity coverage. This does mean medicare or state insurance coverage for a surrogacy would be prohibited by law. If you do not have a health policy, in some cases the agency or intended parents can provide one policy for you.

7. I am out of work and heard that you can make good money being a surrogate. Is that true?

It is best to have a stable household income of your own before you volunteer to become a surrogate mother. Surrogacy is a gift to an Intended Couple or Parent and any money that may come your way usually starts after the confirmation of pregnancy. There is NO guarantee that you will become pregnant throughout your surrogacy experience and some women don't become pregnant until the second or third try. All told, pregnancy may not be confirmed until a year or more from the signing of the contracts.

8. I am not sure my family will support me in my decision. Will that matter?

It will matter. Remember that the process of getting pregnancy up though birth can take a year or more. The fertility clinic will want to feel comfortable that you will be be supported during the medical procedures. The Intended Parents will want to feel comfortable that your family will be positive while you are carrying their baby. You should really have your spouse and family on board with your decision to be a surrogate.

9. I don't have a car but my new IP's can take me to my appointments, right?

No. You need reliable transportation. There are many appointments that you will need to attend before you even sign your contract. Some of these include: meeting with your agency, meeting the Intended Parents (who may be from out of state), having an exam with the clinic of the IP's choice, appointments with the psychologist and perhaps even meeting with an attorney, just to name a few. This isn't even taking into consideration your OB appointments once you are pregnant.

All this and more can be found on Infertility Answers!

What are a Surrogate Mothers Probable Medical Responsibilities?

A surrogate mother (SM) or Gestational Carrier (SM stands here for both) has the ultimate decision making ability about any and all medical treatments done to her and the unborn child. However, a surrogate pregnancy is very different from a personal pregnancy as most Intended Parents (IP) expect to be involved as well. Below is a list of requirements that will be expected of a surrogate mother. Some may not apply depending on the circumstances. This is just for your information before you make the ultimate decision of becoming a surrogate.

SM agrees to complete all physical tests and screenings as required by the doctor/clinic.

SM must sign a release of all medical records.

SM agrees to have FSH/LH blood levels drawn to establish fertility.

SM agrees to have HSG test and or ultrasounds to test the viability of her tubes, ovaries and uterus.

SM agrees to complete 3 cycles of In Vitro fertilization or 6 cycles if artificial insemination.

SM agrees to take fertility drugs and drugs to support the pregnancy as required by the doctor. These drugs may be in the form of SHOTS, PILLS, PATCHES, or VAGINAL SUPPOSITORIES.

SM agrees to follow doctor ordered restrictions after transfer, which may include abstaining from sexual relations from one week before time of transfer until a confirmed pregnancy via ultrasound, and restricted from lifting any weight above 20 lbs. Please make sure that this will not affect your job if you work in an environment that requires any lifting.

SM will agree to follow Doctor ordered restrictions which will include abstaining from sexual relationships with an untested partner between the time she has agreed to work with her IP's and the birth of the surrogate child. ALL partners MUST be tested for HIV, all STD's and completed medicals will be submitted to the clinic of the IP's choice for record.

SM will agree to have normal course of OB care, including ultrasounds as required by her physician. This will take place with in 6 to 10 weeks of gestation.

SM will utilize the services of a high risk OB if pregnant with multiples or if doctor recommends.

SM will inform her IP's of her doctors of choice including phone numbers and address. She will also sign a release of information so the IP's and SCF can obtain pregnancy records from the OB.

SM will have ultrasounds done as requested by her physician. The IP's will incur the cost of any requested ultrasounds.

SM will have an alpha fetal protein test or any other screening test as requested by the medical professionals.

SM will consent to having an amniocentesis done as previously arranged or under doctor's orders.

SM will consent to completing In Vitro procedure with either the eggs of the client wife or an egg donor or an adopted embryo chosen by the client family.

SM will do everything in her power to maintain a pregnancy, even if it is difficult, unless instructed by a physician that it is necessary or advisable for her to terminate the pregnancy.

SM will have drug and HIV screenings at the request of the clinic during her attempts.

SM will complete genetic screening as requested by physician.

SM will allow paternity and or maternity testing to be done. This may involve providing a blood sample from herself and the child.

SM agrees to participate in all individual and group counseling sessions as requested by IP's or the agency she is working with.

SM agrees to complete all psychological testing.

SM and her partner/husband agree to cooperate with her agency or attorney in obtaining a child abuse and criminal background checks.

SM and her partner agree to abstain from all sexual intercourse or activity that could result in pregnancy during their involvement in the surrogacy plan, as defined in the contract between the SM and IP's and the RE/clinic.

SM agrees to engage in open, positive communication with the IP's and the clinic.

She agrees to take whatever reasonable action that is deemed necessary to promote a health, positive surrogacy relationship with IP's.

Please note: It is extremely likely that an insurance company will state that they will not pay for a pregnancy that is a result of a surrogacy. This decision by the insurance company would probably be considered illegal and not upheld by the courts, unless it is written in the policy. It is our preference that you read your policy provisions and call your company to make sure that you are covered.

This list of responsibilities is for your information. The clinic may have other suggestions. Please be prepared to follow all medical doctor ordered protocols in order for you to have a safe and successful surrogacy pregnancy.

Get Ready For The Surrogacy Lawyer Radio Program Presents “Talking about Surrogacy to the Children of Surrogates”

On October 21, The Surrogacy Lawyer Radio will interview Sharon LaMothe, author of “Surrogacy Helps a Family Grow,” and Tracy Armato, Conceptual Options Program Director

When a woman decides to become a surrogate mother, she will have many conversations: with members of the surrogacy agency team, the intended parents, the medical and legal professionals involved in her care and with her spouse or partner and other adult relatives and friends, to name a few. But one of the most important conversations she will have is with her children, so she can explain the surrogacy process to them.

On the Thursday, October 21 episode of The Surrogacy Lawyer: Your Guide to IVF and Third Party Reproduction, Theresa Erickson, Esq., will be discussing how surrogate mothers should talk to their children about their pregnancies for another family. Ms. Erickson will interview Sharon LaMothe, a former gestational surrogate and author of the upcoming book Surrogacy Helps a Family Grow, and Tracy Armato, program director of Conceptual Options, The Surrogacy and Egg Donation Center and past surrogate. This episode will air on at 11AM PST/2PM EST on Voice America.

Sharon LaMothe is currently the owner of Infertility Answers, Inc., and the creator of two blogs about third party reproduction. She also owns LaMothe Services, LLC, an assisted reproductive technology business solutions service. Tracy Armato is responsible for overseeing the daily operations of Conceptual Options. Having been a gestational surrogate, Tracy has viewed third party reproduction from both angles and is a key support figure for surrogates.

“As a surrogacy lawyer and owner of a surrogacy and egg donation agency, I am excited about this new tool to help surrogate mothers talk to their children about the amazing gift they are giving another set of parents,“ says attorney Erickson. “Having open and honest conversations about third party reproduction is essential, whether you are a surrogate or egg, sperm or embryo donor. I look forward to advancing the conversation about this important topic.”

About Theresa Erickson, Esq.

Ms. Erickson is the managing partner of Erickson Law and the founder and chair of Conceptual Options, The Surrogacy and Egg Donation Center. In addition, Ms. Erickson is the author of the newly released Surrogacy and Embryo, Sperm, & Egg Donation: What Were You Thinking? Erickson was motivated to write her second book so she could educate potential intended parents, as well as the women who become surrogates and egg donors, about what all parties need to know if they are going to become involved in third party reproduction.

Attorney Erickson is a globally recognized expert in this specialized area of law and is a board member of the American Fertility Association and the legal director of Parents Via Egg Donation. For more information, please visit www.ericksonlaw.net and www.conceptualoptions.com.

Number Nine of the Top 14 Mistakes for Surrogates and Carriers to Avoid: Going without term Life Insurance of at least $250,000

Simply put, making mistake number nine will not make or break a surrogacy arrangement but it does show care and respect for the greatest gift involved, the surrogate and her family, for even considering taking the risk of child birth for someone else.

Mistake Number Nine: Going without term Life Insurance of at least $250,000

Very simply...You are worth more then $250,000. You are priceless....however, many people simply skip the step that costs approximately $300.00 for a term Life Insurance Policy per year and the piece of mind that comes with it. Your husband or children are named as beneficiaries should something catastrophic happen to you during the surrogacy arrangement. I have yet to hear of any woman dying during a surrogacy pregnancy or birth but some have come close. Protect your family and insist on a policy that will help fill the financial hole that will be left behind should anything happen to you. You are irreplaceable as a wife and a mother but a life insurance policy can go a long way to making life a tiny bit easier for your loved ones should anything happen to you.


Sharon LaMothe Infertility Answers, Inc. http://infertilityanswers.org/ LaMothe Services, LLC http://lamotheservices.com/ *Please note: Sharon LaMothe is not a MD, is not an attorney nor does she hold a mental health degree. All advice given is solely the experienced opinion of Ms. LaMothe. If you have any medical, legal or psychological questions or concerns, please contact your own Doctor, Attorney or Mental Health Professional.

Numbers Three and Four of the Top 14 Mistakes for Surrogates and Carriers to Avoid: Using an 'old' or past contract and Not having your own legal representation when reviewing your surrogacy contract

We are on number 3 and 4 with our 14 Mistakes to Avoid For Women Considering Becoming Surrogate Mothers or Gestational Carriers. These two go together very well and end up to be one of the more common mistakes. All in the name of 'saving money'!

Mistake #3 and #4-Using an 'old' or past contract and Not having your own legal representation when reviewing your surrogacy contract.

Why you should have a new contract drawn up and insist that you have your own attorney: If you have your old contract then that tells me you have been a surrogate in the past or at least were in a surrogacy arrangement. It's great that you like and feel comfortable with what you have agreed upon in your old contract however circumstances have changed! You have new Intended Parents. They may reside in another state, they certainly have different contact information and they have different needs. People use old contracts to save money but most times it just doesn't work out that way! More money is spent when one finds out that not all of the IP's wishes are covered or something you might need could have been overlooked in the rush to have something to sign and get ready for that all important (and expensive) transfer. This goes hand in hand with GET AN ATTORNEY! One for each party involved. Someone who KNOWS reproductive law. (Not your brother-in-law who is a divorce attorney or their cousin who is a death row lawyer!)

If you liked your old contract so much, supply a copy to your new attorney and he or she can add in your wishes/requirements and all that will then be explained to your new Intended Parents by their OWN lawyer! This is a must to ensure that everyone is on the same page. A surrogate must have their own representation to avoid conflict of interest. Trust me, the cost to your IP's for you to have your own attorney is much less then if YOU have to hire your own attorney because of a dispute in the contract after you are pregnant!
 
Sharon LaMothe Infertility Answers, Inc. http://infertilityanswers.org/ LaMothe Services, LLC http://lamotheservices.com/ *Please note: Sharon LaMothe is not a MD, is not an attorney nor does she hold a mental health degree. All advice given is solely the experienced opinion of Ms. LaMothe. If you have any medical, legal or psychological questions or concerns, please contact your own Doctor, Attorney or Mental Health Professional.

6 common tips you can use to facilitate the Surrogacy process with your clinic.

Below are 6 common tips you can use to facilitate the Surrogacy process with your clinic.



1. Your clinic will need to have the contract signature page at the very least (they may require the entire contract) on file or an affidavit from the contractual attorney, indicating that the contract is complete and has been signed by all parties.

2. The medical information forms need to have been signed by all parties and given to your clinic for their files.

3. The Surrogate Mother/Carrier is the patient. Information on medication, transfer, and follow up must be conveyed to her through the clinic and not the Intended Parents although they should be informed as well.

4. The Intended Parents need to make sure that they have a credit card on file with the clinic for all medication and procedures that involve the Surrogate Mother/Carrier and/or Egg Donor.

5. The Surrogate Mother/Carrier or Egg Donor should not receive ANY BILLS. She is not responsible for any payment of bills and this is usually stated in the contract between the Intended Parents and Surrogate/Egg Donor.

6. IVF costs should not be attempted to be billed through the Surrogate Mother/Carrier's insurance. (Blood tests, pap smears, OB appointments etc. are usually ok.) Remember the Surrogate Mother/Carrier is not the infertile woman and billing her for IVF costs can cost her the insurance policy and possibly pose insurance fraud accusations. Medicaid should not be used under any circumstance.



Sharon LaMothe
Infertility Answers, Inc.
http://infertilityanswers.org/
LaMothe Services, LLC
http://lamotheservices.com/
*Please note: Sharon LaMothe is not a MD, is not an attorney nor does she hold a mental health degree. All advice given is solely the experienced opinion of Ms. LaMothe. If you have any medical, legal or psychological questions or concerns, please contact your own Doctor, Attorney or Mental Health Professional.

If at First You Don't Conceive: A Complete Guide to Infertility from One of the Nation's Leading Clinics by Dr. William Schoolcraft, MD, HCLD: A LaMothe Book Review

If at First You Don't Conceive: A Complete Guide to Infertility from One of the Nation's Leading Clinics by Dr. William Schoolcraft, MD, HCLD, will not be available for release until March 16, 2010 but I have had the pleasure of receiving an advanced copy and highly suggest that you pre-order yours now!

There are two hundred and sixty five pages in If at First You Don't Conceive: A Complete Guide to Infertility from One of the Nation's Leading Clinics and each and everyone of them are worth reading. If you have just found out that you have a problem with fertility, this must be the first book you read. Not only does Dr. Schoolcraft talk about being your own best advocate he writes about the most common fertility challenges, the most common solutions for those challenges and covers the emotional challenges as well. I love the fact that he includes stories from his patient's which makes you feel connected to what this book is all about, validation, education, support and solutions.

If you are not familiar with Dr. WILLIAM SCHOOLCRAFT, MD, HCLD, he is a fertility specialist and researcher and is the director of the Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine.


Sharon LaMothe
Infertility Answers, Inc.
http://infertilityanswers.org/
LaMothe Services, LLC
http://lamotheservices.com/
*Please note: Sharon LaMothe is not a MD, is not an attorney nor does she hold a mental health degree. All advice given is solely the experienced opinion of Ms. LaMothe. If you have any medical, legal or psychological questions or concerns, please contact your own Doctor, Attorney or Mental Health Professional.

Improve Your BMI with the Wii Fit Plus: A LaMothe Product Review

I know that with the new year comes new resolutions and the same one is made every year by millions..."This is THE year I will Get in SHAPE and Lose WEIGHT! " For those suffering infertility, many have been told by their RE's that they need to be in a healthy BMI zone. Women who want to be Surrogates and Egg Donors also need to have a healthy Body Mass Index and it helps to be fit! Well, I received the Wii Fit Plus for my birthday (New Years Eve) and for someone who is at a desk all day it is great to get off my butt and play a game or two with my daughter and husband and at the same time get a little exercise in! It has become a family game night...every night ...of sorts. When can you get a 14 year old to spend any time out of their room playing with the parental units? So here is the secret...the Wii Fit and the Wii Fit Plus will make an hour seem like 15 minutes especially if you are wanting to beat the high score before bed. So far, I am the hula hoop champ! Read below for the particulars from the Wii Site! If you already own a Wii Fit or a Wii Fit Plus please let me know what you think of it!


Wii Fit™ attracted millions of new players to the world of video games. Now Wii Fit Plus offers a range of new features and enhancements to help players reinvigorate their workouts, along with exercises and balance games designed to keep them fun. Players will find a new dimension to the Wii Fit experience as they easily set their own customized workout routines or choose 20-, 30- or 40-minute workouts based on how much time they have available. Users will also be able to choose from specialized workout routines that focus on an individual’s personal fitness goals or certain target areas. And with the addition of activities like Skateboarding and Rhythm Kung Fu, players will be using the Wii Balance Board™ accessory in a variety of new and fun ways.

Workouts combine the original Wii Fit activities and selections from 15 new balance games and six new strength training and yoga activities.

Users can input the amount of time they want to spend on their workouts or select an area for personal improvement, and Wii Fit Plus will suggest a number of diverse activities for them.

For the first time, users can mix and match which strength and yoga activities they prefer on a given day. The seamless exercise flows make it easier than ever for users to maintain their daily workout routines.

Users might be asked to run an obstacle course across a series of platforms, zoom across a beach on a Segway® x2 Personal Transporter or flap their arms to help their hilarious chicken-suited characters aim for targets.

The range of games and customization options will make players want to play every day. They’ll be having so much fun that their workouts will seem to fly by in no time at all.

Players also can see estimates of calories burned and can even activate a feature that lets them weigh their dogs or cats.

Wii Fit Plus comes packaged with the Wii Balance Board accessory. For people who already own Wii Fit, the Wii Fit Plus disc will be available for purchase separately.

Sharon LaMothe
Infertility Answers, Inc.
http://infertilityanswers.org/
LaMothe Services, LLC
http://lamotheservices.com/

The Surrogacy Base Fee - How Does it Work?

Once Intended Parents start the search for a surrogate mother, whether its in an independent situation or through an agency setting, they will soon come a crossed the phrase "base fee". What is this fee for? Who sets these fees? Isn't it the same as 'paying' a surrogate? Why is the word compensation used?

Let me illuminate you on the "base fee factors". In general, a base fee is to cover the 9 months or 40 weeks your surrogate will be pregnant with your child/children. It is very rare for any of the base fee monies to be distributed before you see a heart beat on the ultra sound screen. The base fee is commonly broken down into monthly payments, however these are not equal monthly installments. Lets use a fee of $20,000. The break down may look like this:

Month one: $1,500
Month two: $1,500
Month three: $2,000
Month four: $2,000
Month five: $2,000
Month six: $2,500
Month seven: $2,500
Month eight: $3,000
Month nine: $3,000

These fees are usually strategically set up like this in a contract because there are so many times that a miscarriage can happen in the first couple of months of an IVF cycle. This way the Intended Parents are not out a huge amount of money and the surrogate is compensated for the time that she actually did carry.

Lets remember that babies are born on their own time table and so if a baby or babies are born early the amount that is left over is put into one last check and given to the surrogate with in 14 days after the birth or whatever is stated in the contract. In the case of multiples an extra amount is often added from month 5-9.

So who sets these fees? Good question! Basically attorneys and agencies know state by state what those judges will tolerate regarding a surrogacy fee. This is why you don't see women being surrogates and charging $100,000! If a judge sees an amazingly large amount of money in a contract that fact alone will raise the following questions: "Was this woman coerced?, Is she selling her body?, Is she selling a baby?" This is why the base fee is labeled compensation or reimbursement or even living expenses. Surrogate mothers are supposed to be carrying a child not to make money but instead for altruistic reasons. Any money involved is to support them throughout the process. The point is that no money should be coming out of the surrogates family budget to support her while she is a surrogate mother.

The average base fees being asked for by agencies for their surrogates looks something like this: First time surrogate with her own health insurance: $18,000-$20,000 First time surrogate without her own health insurance: $13,000-$15,000 Second time surrogate with her own health insurance: $25,000-$28,000 Second time surrogate without her own health insurance: $20,000-$22,000 Third and forth time surrogates with health insurance can command anything up to $45,000 and those without $35,000.

Yes, there are some variations but this configuration is the most common. Insurance companies are adding surrogacy exclusions each time they print up a new policy! They feel that if money is being exchanged then their policy shouldn't be used as a bargaining chip. If a surrogate is on medicaid then she can not, under any circumstances, use government insurance! This is FRAUD and is punishable by the law. Surrogates without insurance need to be insured ASAP through one of the few companies that have policy especially for those involved in third party reproduction or family building. New Life is one of those agencies. Needless to say these are very expensive policies which is why an uninsured surrogate is compensated less then those who carry their own health insurance policies with maternity coverage.

Sharon LaMothe
http://infertilityanswers.org/
(Reposted for your reading pleasure!)

Risky Behavior - What Does This Mean in Regards to a Surrogacy Agreement?

These photos just make me cringe!

Caution! HOT TOPIC!!

Yes, Risky Behavior is a hot topic but just what does it mean? Well, in the context of a surrogate and her contract, its a large gray area. I am not an attorney but I do know from my vast experience that its hard to control someone else's behavior and what one person considers 'risky' another may think of as normal. A contract between Intended Parents and their Surrogate may have an entire laundry list of situations that they want their surrogate to avoid while pregnant. Examples may be: No smoking, no drinking, avoid smoke, no unauthorized medications, avoid motor boats and motorcycles, avoid foods with mercury, avoid heavy lifting, avoid excessive exercise, avoid nail salons, avoid dying hair, avoid massages, avoid hot tubs, avoid sex... etcetera and so on.....

But even though there is a list in a contract regarding these issues how can anyone actually be sure that these 'requirements' are being followed? And if they are not, what can be done to enforce these items in the contract. That would be a great question for the attorney but what I have found is #1 No woman who has volunteered herself to be a surrogate mother wants to harm the baby that she is carrying. #2 If you can't trust the woman to follow her OBGYN's advise then you shouldn't be matched with her. #3 All of the issues above are extremely hard to enforce with the exception of the smoking, drinking and drugs. Regular blood testing can keep one honest however we are back to #2 which just drives home the fact that TRUST is a huge factor in a surrogacy relationship...maybe more so then what's listed in the contract.

Sharon LaMothe
http://infertilityanswers.org/

The Failed Transfer....Who to Blame

Q: Can a 'failed transfer' be the surrogates fault?

A: The word 'fault' is defined something like this in the Webster dictionary:
1 obsolete: LACK
2 a: WEAKNESS, FAILING; especially: a moral weakness less serious than a vice b: a physical or intellectual imperfection or impairment:
3 a: MISDEMEANOR b: MISTAKE
4: responsibility for wrongdoing or failure

So if you are asking if your surrogate made a mistake and the transfer failed then the answer might be yes. I say 'might be' because it depends on the mistake and why it was made. You have to remember that there are so many players in this game. Let's assume that you are asking if she made a mistake regarding her medications. If she followed the clinic/RE guidelines to a T and those directions were wrong then the mistake lies with the clinic.

If she misunderstood some directions and then 'guessed' instead of asking for clarification then the surrogate was at fault for that aspect of the possible failure. But lets remember that we can also look at the quality of the eggs....the sperm...the embryo's that were made and the embryologist who graded them. How did the transfer go? Was the uterine lining the thickness that the RE required? I could go on...but I want to say that even if all is perfect the embryo transfer can still fail because there is nothing guaranteed in Assisted Reproductive Technology...Nothing! If you trust your surrogate and she did all that was humanly possible on her end then you must move on to the next step and leave the disappointment of this failed transfer behind you!

Sharon LaMothe
http://infertilityanswers.org/

Pregnant or Thinking About It?

This is a good refresher for those who want to be a surrogate....I know, I know that you are already aware of some of these issues but it never hurts to think about them and apply them to your surrogacy journey. Your IP's will thank you!

Sharon
http://infertilityanswers.org/

Pregnant or Thinking About It?
10 prenatal tips
Megan Johnson
Premium Health News Service

From conception to delivery, a fetus is at the mercy of its environment. A mother-to-be has more control over her internal chemistry than she might think, and her odds of having a healthy baby will be much improved if she follows these tips:

1. Take steps even before you're pregnant. If you're considering pregnancy, you should take 400 micrograms of folic acid daily to guard against neural tube defects such as spina bifida. Also ask about vaccination against chickenpox or rubella. These and a few other "live" vaccines cannot be given to pregnant women; the illnesses can cause birth defects if contracted during pregnancy.

2. Don't delay an OB visit. Early blood tests can catch anemia and infections that can affect the fetus if not dealt with quickly. Possibly correctable problems such as heart abnormalities often can be detected in the coming months through echocardiography and other screening tests.

3. Write down all meds. Your doctor should review your drugs, vitamins, and supplements. Some of them, such as certain anti-depression and seizure medications, can harm your baby's heart and increase your risk of miscarriage.

4. Don't drink. Binge drinking is particularly dangerous to the fetus; known risks include miscarriage, stillbirth, and mental retardation. It may cause facial deformities such as cleft lip and cleft palate.

5. Don't smoke. That includes inhaling secondhand smoke. Besides stillbirth and low birth weight, sudden infant death syndrome has been linked to cigarette smoke.

6. Monitor the scales. Gestational diabetes and premature birth are among the dangers of putting on more than about 25 to 35 pounds, or more than about 15 to 25 pounds for an overweight woman.

7. Get moving. Exercise can moderate weight gain and may increase the flow of oxygen to the fetus.

8. Eat smart. New research shows a mother's diet during pregnancy has lifelong implications for her baby. A prenatal diet high in protein or fat has been tied to chronic conditions such as heart disease, obesity, and diabetes. Besides following a generally healthful diet of fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins, eating fish twice a week (salmon, sardines, and canned light tuna are mercury safe) will provide omega-3 fatty acids for fetal brain development.

9. Don't get vitamin-happy. More isn't better--stick to the doses recommended by your obstetrician. Excessive vitamin A, for example, can cause head, heart, brain, and spinal cord defects. You may be told to take an iodine supplement; a new study found that prenatal vitamins often provide far less than the 150-microgram minimum recommended for proper nervous-system development.

10. Check around the house. Certain chemicals, among them BPA and pthalates in plastics, canned-food linings, and cosmetics, mimic the hormone estrogen. Some scientists worry that adults exposed to them in utero may have fertility problems. Eat fresh or frozen veggies, and don't use plastic containers or plastic wrap when microwaving.

Complete Pregnancy: Find an OBGYN

There are many reasons why a surrogate might have to change from the OB that delivered her own children. The current OB doesn't support surrogacy, the pregnancy has turned into a high risk due to multiples or other health issues or the birth must take place in another state. Researching a new OB is very important for both the Intended Parents and the Surrogate. Below is a link that should be book marked as a great resource!
http://www.completepregnancy.com/doctor/doctor.aspx

Sharon
Infertility Answers, Inc.
http://infertilityanswers.org/