I know that my blogs have been jumping all over the place but honestly, when a topic hits, it hits hard! I might talk to an IP or an old friend or I may read someone's blog and say to myself 'I need to write about that!" An so here I am writing about Celebrating....celebrating an egg retrieval gone GOOD...celebrating more then one embryo growing by leaps and bounds in that little petri dish...a successful transfer....a positive HPT....just celebrating.
But Wait!
Surrogates, do you ever think how hard it actually is for Intended Parents to really celebrate? Most of the time these IP's have been through years of grief and struggle and during that time might have experienced periods where they did indeed celebrate the small milestones leading up to a full blown pregnancy only to be disappointed with a BFN from the Beta (or HPT or the embryos died). How hard is that to take over and over and over again? And then they choose surrogacy and there is hope...but not celebration. At least not the type 'we' feel there should be. All that grief and struggle and sadness and failure turns into FEAR when they hear that there is a real pregnancy. The IP's live in the fear that somehow all of this new joy could be taken away in the blink of an eye. Because they have seen it happen before...to them and to others like them!
Maybe we expect the celebration to start at some point during the pregnancy like at the 20 week mark or a month before the due date or even at the birth. I have heard surrogates wonder out loud where is the enthusiasm? Please give your IP's time. The joy will come, the celebration will last for the rest of their lives just as soon as they except the reality that THIS TIME 'it' worked! They really are parents!! And for now, let YOUR Joy shine through!
Sharon
www.InfertilityAnswers.net
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