Mistake Number Eleven of the Top 14 Mistakes Not to Make for Traditional Surrogates and Gestational Carriers: Staying with Intended Parents for more than a week in their own home

Three more 'mistakes' to go and I am sure I could have mentioned twenty! Read on and see if you agree with my assessment of number eleven!

Mistake #11-Staying with Intended Parents for more than a week in their own home

I know of several people who have stayed with their IPs in their home for a few days or even a week with no ill effects . I have heard of others who were 'stuck' there for three weeks or more and it did nothing good for the relationship.

A few days stay is nice especially if you need to rest after a transfer or you are down to their place for a short visit or maybe an ultrasound, however, once you stay longer you may notice little things that can be irritating like being waited on hand and foot....or not! People (IP's) scrutinizing what you eat or drink, sleeping habits, how long you are on the computer, the fact that you don't exercise or over exercise, that you are addicted to watching A Baby Story or the soaps. Whatever the case you are living under a magnifying glass whether you want to admit it or not. Their family and friends pop by to meet you...and lets face it, as nice that is you have to be 'on' all the time.

You, as a surrogate, will also notice things...how your IP's interact with each other, how they baby their dog, the fact that their home is decorated in white and chrome and the baby proofing has NOT been done. (Are these people ready to be parents?)

This constant critical assessment can cause nothing but stress. You need your own place. If you must travel for the birth for instance, see if you can stay in a micro-hotel near by that might offer a kitchenette and a sofa. (Perhaps your own family can visit you if you have your own space.) Make sure that you can arrange some down time where you get plenty of rest. You can enjoy your time together but you will appreciate your time apart!




Sharon LaMothe Infertility Answers, Inc. http://infertilityanswers.org/ LaMothe Services, LLC http://lamotheservices.com/ *Please note: Sharon LaMothe is not a MD, is not an attorney nor does she hold a mental health degree. All advice given is solely the experienced opinion of Ms. LaMothe. If you have any medical, legal or psychological questions or concerns, please contact your own Doctor, Attorney or Mental Health Professional.