Number Seven of the Top 14 Mistakes for Surrogates and Carriers to Avoid: Not insisting that the IP's have at least one visit with a psychologist

We are at the halfway point of 14 Mistakes to Avoid For Women Considering Becoming Surrogate Mothers or Gestational Carriers! Thank you for all of your comments. I love receiving your personal messages as well as those on Facebook and elsewhere...I will try to touch on all of the concerns as we go though these 'mistakes'! Here is #7! 

Mistake #7-Not insisting that the IP's have at least one visit with a psychologist who is recommended by the clinic


Why you should insist: As most of us are aware, surrogates, carriers and egg donors are psychologically screened as a standard of practice here in the United States. But less often do you hear of Intended Parents being required to seek out a mental health professional before they proceed with their third party family building plans. (They will have to in WA state when the new surrogacy laws pass though!) This is a disservice to the Intended Parents as well as their surrogate, you.


In my utopia world, all parties, the surrogate/carrier, her partner and the Intended Parents would all have at least one session together lead by a mental health professional well versed in reproductive technology, surrogacy and the loss of fertility. Everyone would be open and honest about their feelings and intentions and even the hardest issues would be explored. All within the 55 minute time frame.


As that is unlikely to happen, at least not in most cases, I believe that Intended Parents should seek out a psychologist or mental health professional (one that perhaps their clinic could recommend) and make an appointment. This is one more step that will be sure to bring you, as the surrogate, and your IP's closer. One more building block to a happy relationship as you explore this journey called Surrogacy. Intended Parents can really open up and talk about their fears, concerns and issues knowing that this councilor is trained to guide them through their questions and offer answers and support. Just as a surrogate must, Intended Parents need to be really sure that this is the route they want to take in building their family. They can also be reassured that they are on the same page as their partner and if there are issues that need more time, then the signing of contracts can wait until they are totally sure. Much better finding out at this point then after a successful transfer, don't you think?

Sharon LaMothe Infertility Answers, Inc. http://infertilityanswers.org/ LaMothe Services, LLC http://lamotheservices.com/ *Please note: Sharon LaMothe is not a MD, is not an attorney nor does she hold a mental health degree. All advice given is solely the experienced opinion of Ms. LaMothe. If you have any medical, legal or psychological questions or concerns, please contact your own Doctor, Attorney or Mental Health Professional.